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So I did my exams, and I passed. Yay!
<little jig of victory>
Wasn’t as bad as i thought’d they be and obviously my scotch habit hasn’t diminished my capacity too much.
OH yes, my blog traffic was very exciting for a while, I thought that my little corner of the web was somehow super interesting but it turns out that simply having the worlds ‘bill henson’ was enough to make this a superstar blog. I need to preemt the next controversy….
anyways, i ought to go do some busywork - make some more inappropriately reactive software. bah.
Thought puddle was looking a bit empty. And i do apologise that it hasn’t really been a joyful trundle of late - it was supposed to be an entertaining record of adventures. Hopefully fun times are ahead
bissous
Awesome Wall Animation
An interesting E Anthology which gathers work from poets, artists and filmmakers into a freely downloadable e-thingy.
From the site
“The Material Poem is a new e-anthology, edited by James Stuart and published by non-generic productions. It features the work of some 28 Australian poets, artists and critics, all of whom are engaged with poetry, and more broadly language, as a material form.
This body of work is inter-disciplinary, inter-media and often collaborative, spanning a wide variety of formal contexts – page, screen, canvas, space, book, performance and more. The Material Poem showcases the vibrancy of experimental writing in Australia, demonstrating how writing functions as a practice that is never purely literary.”
Worth a squiz if you are so inclined. If you need a review first before committing to 49mb of pdf-y goodness, Astrid Lorange has obliged.
Bel from Audaci’s comment made me thunk and will hopefully change my mindset as I’m woeful at taking my own advice.
But really I should try to be proud of the baby steps of progress so far. I have learnt stuff, I may not know as much about <insert enzyme/hormone here> as some others but I’m learning stuff.
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and now for something completely different
On another note, i saw Leigh Warren and Dancer’s new piece, Seven at the Adelaide Fringe, which was great. It was terrific seeing my friends perform and obviously relish the performance, though it made me more than a little wistful. But really, despite the workload and the constant feeling of overload, I’m really enjoying medicine and can look back on my performing fondly and without too much sadness.
I do miss being creative though, and have signed up for our Health and Human Rights Group as junior media rep, which hopefully will prove fun. The cynic in me says that no way a small bunch of wide eyed med students can never make much of a difference which is balanced against the wide eyed optimism that the sentiment is worth working for and that we certainly can make a difference to communities in need.
I also miss teaching, I really have to find somewhere to teach…
Bel’s post on the transition from creative industries to medicine made me think over my transition too. (just to add to the list, here is another ex-dancer turned med student)
I enjoyed my time in the arts. I loved it. I loved the camaraderie of creating a performance, performing it, touring with it and growing with it. I loved many of the people I met, I loved the thrill of creating my own work, realising my vision. I guess why I left was of practicality, and also a feeling that I needed a change. I was satisfied with what I had done. Like Audaci I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it made sense to me, and it seemed ‘right’ and still does despite my whinging and bitching.
There was certainly an element that it was no longer as fulfilling as it was before. Those who’ve read this for a while know my issues with the whole system of publically funded art, the politics of getting the money and also a certain angst of, what is it, cosmically speaking, all for? I never did get a good answer to that, but along with a feeling that dancing was no longer the most fun I could have and the very real prospect of being ‘damaged goods’ due to bodgy lungs, it seemed ripe to change.
”The one thing that art and health have in common is the human experience. Across both you will see the full spectrum of human suffering and elation. The former may be a more abstract, disconnected version of, but the link is there. Across both you will find your mind challenged, twisted in ways you never thought possible, you’re exposed to depths of knowledge hitherto unimagined. So similar, but so different. The problem solving too, the starting with nothing and creating a whole picture is so similar. You need that same arsenal of skills, even though the skills themselves may differ. And the sense of personal challenge is the same. “
I was just talking about it to a friend of mine, and I really do see a continuum across my eclectic background. The challenges, the element of the human - its frailty, its beauty and its many faces, the drawing and synthesis of ideas from disparate sources, the learning, the teaching and sharing of knowledge and experience, it is, as Bel says, same same, but different.
I don’t know if this post makes any sense, but I’ve been trying to get down some thoughts as I muddle my way through this med school thing.
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for bloggers/forum junkies
Three works by Nacho Duato is lovely.Really really lovely. I took a friend who is admittedly not into the contemporary dance thing, and there is little better to take someone like her to. The dancers are just phenomenal, they move with strength and precision and such liquid grace- it made me more than a little jealous.
However his work is, same-y, for wont of a better one. The three works are vague and similar in movement style, but when his signature is creating glorious long liquid phrases of movement with witty and whimsical musicality, I really didn’t mind that they were similar. He has a nack for picking gorgeous music, and a talent for arranging the space with bodies, light, costume and set brilliantly. In short, a breathtakingly beautiful night of dance - for me, it does what dance does best, convey something visceral, something one can’t express it in words.
‘Alas’ also by Duato was a huge disappointment after the triple bill. The elements were there - Nacho’s choreography, Thomas Pandur as director and Wim Wenders gorgeous film, “wings of desire’ as the text. But somehow in bringing it together, it sucked. Once you put dramaturgy with dance, you had better damn well make sure its good. This was overblown and self indulgent. The images were beautiful, the dancers exquisite, but the movement and musicality lost out, the digital projections were woefully bad, the use of voice and text basic and uninspired. Nacho himself played the angel Demiel, and it was bad. He can’t move as well as he used to, and in stark relief against his dancers its painfully obvious, as my less kind friend said, he had no acting ability, nor personal charisma. It seemed largely a vehicle for him to take off his shirt, look distractingly handsome and writhe a bit. The end image, while lovely in conception (the dancers climbing up a column to heaven, the floor flooded with the angel writing on the ground splashing) was hilariously bad as Nacho splooshed around in the flooded stage, periodically splashing meaningfully as he did 1st year contemporary dance floor work.
Kudos to him for trying something different, but very disappointing after the sublime beauty of the triple bill
Construct by Tanja Liedtke.
It was superb. Clever, witty, fun, accessible.
The dancers are just superhuman, capable of feats of control, daring beyond comprehension all with a cheeky insouciance.
Great use of props, and staging. See it.
It was incredibly difficult to watch, as I had worked on one of the precursor pieces to it, and could still hear Tanja giving us the task (and incidently getting cranky as I wasn’tn doing it very well)(and now I see how its supposed to be done, totally fair enough), but a really special work.
The team which pulled it together are truly astonishing. And lovely to boot.
Mortal Engine - Chunky Move
Unbelievably irritating. It was like watching the windows media screen saver for an hour. It lost the charm and connection that ‘Glow’ their previous work had. I didn’t feel any connection to the ‘narrative’ or the dancers - it was all engine, with little of the ‘mortal’.
I was so totally distracted by the technology - which as an artist who is working on similar things, I know is not all that super mega difficult, that I lost interest in the work as a performance and spent my time rebuilding their effects on my platform.
It really looked like a first stage work - where they found cool effects and made up dances to go with it, incidentally.
I think there is some potential in dance and technology but it is elusive and difficult.
Beautiful animation by Michel Dudok de Wit, its old, but just sublime.
*edit it seems that this embedding thing doesn’t work
Check it here
I don’t do fear. I used to, but not for a good while now, whether its a solo adventure in the wilderness, some crazy acrobatic trick, falling up or down rocks, or biting off more than I can chew, I dont let fear get in my way.
But now waiting for these damn medical school offers, I’m scared. I’m scared if I dont get in, and I’m also scared if I do.
Dont get me wrong, I’m so excited about the prospect of going to med school, that I can barely contain squealing like a little girl, but for a variety of reasons it scares me too.
Doing these final performances has really reinforced to me just how much I do love dance, and also ballet in particular. I love the movement, I even love the corny arse acting and melodrama. I love teaching it, and coaching it. I’m actually at a point where I am respected for what I can do and what I know, I’m in a position where I can help others, and also coming into my own as a performing artist. Technically and artistically its actually just starting to come together. And I’m quitting.
In my visual art too, the last few projects have really shown that I’m actually really good at what I do, I’m doing things that are different, interesting and of high quality, there too, I feel I’m just hitting my stride.
And I’m quitting to enter a field which I am fascinated by, but have no ability in. I have no idea how I’ll do, I haven’t done science since yr 12. I’m starting again, from scratch in a huge huge pool of people who are so smart that my head spins. Its just my ego talking but its nice being a big fish in small pond, its great that people from across the country know of me. Admittedly in an incredibly small and incestueous industry, but still, recognition is great.
I’m not that great an egomaniac that I’ll miss that recognition for more than 5 min, but I worry that I wont be able to cope with the demands, that perhaps I may lose the optimism and enthusiasm that I have now. I worry how I’ll cope with seeing death, I worry that with the shaky nature of the medical field currently that I’ll get lost in the system as the Govt has a vested interest in having loads of highly trained doctors who aren’t quite specialist level yet and so are therefore cheap.
These fears kick on on my good days when I think I’ll get into med school, other days, (oh what am I talking about, my feelings change every hour) I think that my dream run so far has been a lovely dream, my gamsat mark was in fact incorrect and that I really shouldn’t even have had an interview. Then what do I do?
While I feel as a performer I’m reaching my best, no one else seems to think so who can give me work, I”ve reached a professional dead end, where companies and directors like me enough, but not enough for work.
So I’m back where I am, a state of fear, trepidation and excitement. Whatever happens I’m sure it’ll be an adventure, but for now, its back to the waiting game.
The exhibition went great. It has to be said, it went as well as I had hoped and was what I had imagined all those years ago. Well 2 and a bit, but still, its been a long gestation period.
It was so gratifying that a/ it worked and b/ people really liked it. I guess as artists we always question what we are doing, and I know for me, striking out on my own was my next big step and a big unknown as to whether my work stands up on its own. Now with a few works under my belt, I can feel more confident that my work does stand up, and not only that, it stands up well.
I am also so lucky and grateful to have collaborators of the calibre that I do, Adam Synnott being my main partner in crime and very understanding family when I take over the lounge room.
We got a good review in Dance Australia too, so props for us.
Ok I’m done now.
“The components of the natural world are myriad but they constitute a single living system. There is no escape from our interdependence with nature; we are woven into the closest relationship with the Earth, the sea, the air, the seasons, the animals and all the fruits of the Earth. What affects one affects all - we are part of a greater whole - the body of the planet. We must respect, preserve, and love its manifold expression if we hope to survive” - Bernard Campbell, Human Ecology
Extirpation is a visually stunning, poetic look at the human impact on our environment, and the interconnectedness of things.
Check its progress on its own blog.
Not strictly MY show, but there’s bits of me stuff in there.
I recently did a project with Adam Synott and was reminded of how much satisfaction and pleasure I used to get and is possible to get from creative pursuits. Working with friends, people who have a solid understanding of process, and who trust each member in their skill was an all too rare joy. It used to be like this, working on the things I wanted to work on, with people I wanted to, on projects I was invested in. But somewhere along the way, I ended up pursuing bigger gigs, bigger contracts, commissions and compromises.
I think we came up with some fantastic stuff, certainly interesting things that will lead on to bigger and better things. Its such a difference from commissioned works where there is money but so many restrictions, egos to satisfy, and where more time is spent discussing than making.
I’m currently dancing again, I’m not really enjoying much of it, due largely to the attitude that is so prevalent in the industry. Because we are the ones who are up on stage, we care deeply about how we look, and so companies will exploit that by scheduling too little rehearsal time for what they want to achieve and then cram in extra hours, extra weekdays, cutting breaks, lunch knowing that we’ll take it in order not to look stupid. But really, in every commission I’ve had, and from what I know of project management, whatever dream one has, one has to work within the limitations imposed by the situation. If you can only afford 2.5 weeks of rehearsals , its rather daft to try and create 2hrs of brand new material across 3 shows. Then they play the guilt factor - that they themselves aren’t getting paid, that they’re working much longer hours. But they’re irrelevant arguments - that was their choice and good on them for that, but for me, its a job, and its got to be run that way.
However, on many occasions I’ve gladly put in extra, because I was invested, and I was respected enough that I was never told to do extra, it was my choice.
What is frustrating is that this attitude is never going to change, because most dancers are grateful for any chance to perform, and if one isn’t there certainly is a younger one who damn well will, and so I fear that its never going to be sorted.
Anyways, thats my whinge for the moment.
This is may look like beached giant cybernetic squid, but is in fact something I developed with an architect in response to a design brief for a Flight 93 memorial design in the United States. Unfortunately we didn’t win, so no giant squiddy monstrosities will be appearing soon, but it was a really interesting project, and for me I found the exploration really interesting.
I developed a system where we simulated turbulent airflow over the terrain model and then chucked particles through it, and by tracing those lines in space, managed to create this thingy. It was a really interesting thought experiment as to new ways of exploring space and generating forms.
Went through a phase of developing procedural shaders and geometry. The geometry is all based off L-Systems, the hero neuron was hand tweaked, the shaders are all complex procedurals, so it holds up at all resolutions. Originally designed for a print piece for a friend.
Its huge, but worth a squiz if I do say so myself.
Furnace Touch: A work that I did with the emminent Gareth Sion Jenkins last year for the Newcastle Poetry Prize, a man whose poetic talent is matched only a voice that is so melodious it is like liquid sex.
‘The floating
sound and images works reflect the disintegration of
the main character’s mind as he approaches his
disaster point: here the air is a furnace touch, just
hot enough to take off your fingerprints.’
Unfed (50mb Quicktime): My poetic dance film I made with the extraordinary talents of Gareth Sion Jenkins, Anton, Jenny Atwood and Emee Dillon. It has done quite well, showing around Australia, New Zealand, Asia, Germany and Eastern Europe. And the latest is that it will be shown on ABC on the 27th of March at 22:00. Rest assured that I will be reminding you of this fact. Constantly
..the painful eagerness of unfed hope. George Eliot
A 6 minute experimental poetic dance film of loneliness and alienation. Through textual, spatial and temporal fractures, Unfed physically and imaginatively evokes the hidden, inner landscape of our longing for connection, meaning and love.
“Unfed is incredible, disturbing yet hypnotic…it stirs something uncomfortable within the soul while simultaneously acknowledging the beauty in the fractured people, emotions and imagery… The amazing voice driving the piece serves to enhance these qualities, providing an eerie desparation and melancholy. A sadness that engulfs you.”
Kelly Butler , Film Mogul (unscripted and unpaid review)
I’m reading Noam Chomsky’s Failed States.
Its a great book, in the vein of that sort of thing. But it does leave one feeling tremendously frustrated, angry and very ineffectual. In fact, I could summarise a good portion of my angst as a mind numbing lethargy as I can’t see a way to win. And by win I mean not some overarching scheme to rule the world, though that of course is an option, but to somehow see my way through this life without helping destroy the world.
I won’t reguritate Chomsky, you can read the book or there are a good many blogs out there who are far more outraged than me, but suffice it to say that, essentially, the worlds greatest military power, is, in many respects, one of the ‘Failed States’ that it so violently and virtously claims to oppose. Which is obviously to those with some degree of sanity, not really a teneable or desirable position to be in.
So we have the United States actively trying to destablise the world, and ironically providing the perfect training ground for new terrorists in Iraq, Australia is following with our head up the US’s arse - putting back the ideas of democracy with lovely new laws curtailing civil liberties (and we, Australia are particularly vulnerable to this as the only democratic country without a national bill of rights, instead relying on the good sense of the parlimentary process. And we all know how well that is working), both the US and Australia ignoring global warming its all looking really quite bleak.
The insidious rise of religious bollocks such as Intelligent Design being a science and the fact that our education minister actually considered it as a viable thing to be taught in Australian Schools as science. Sure, lets chuck out rational thought, in fact, we can do as the US and redefine science so that ID can be taught.
The environment - So we’ve decided carbon is bad. Fossil fuel is bad. But then solar is ineffecient, requiring highly toxic chemicals to manufacture and regular replacement. Hydro isn’t bad, but then it requires damming of rivers which leads to tremendous environmental damage - see Lake Pedder and the 3 Gorges in China. Nuclear is quite a good option, but will take 10 - 20 years to save the carbon it took to create the bleeding thing, plus all the associated risks with it. Wind isn’t consistent enough, meaning we have to run coal as backup (and coal is very ineffecient unless its running full pelt) and other studies have shown that building wind farms on peat bogs (common enough) releases a stupid amount of carbon trapped in the peat bog. Carbon Capture and Sequestration, touted by Al Gore just seems stupid to me. A large, costly exercise in burying your head in the sand. But please inform me more on this matter.
Biofuels - given a big boost by everyones favourite billionaire, Richard Branson. But then, where are we going to plant the vast quantities of grain to make our biofuels? And doesnt it seem slightly daft to plant hideous amounts of crop (in the processes likely destroying rainforests and useful things like that) and then mashing it into fuel when so much of the world goes hungry?
We’re arsed.
In my on-going spew about Art - I find this very difficult to reconcile, most artists I know are incredibly concerned with the environment. Its kind of our thing as loud opinionated sorts. But ask most any artist what they want to do, and more than likely it is to travel - to take their show international, to see international shows/galleriers. Galleries are swapping their collections around the world, shows fly around the world. But then this is all, of course a tremendous cost of resources. What are we going to do about it? How to reconcile the politic regarding the environment and our practice? I mean, I can’t help but feel excited that the Paris Opera Ballet is coming. But thats an entire plane load of performers, support and scenery. Ok its probably a more worthwhile cause than idiots who fly from london to new york for a spot of shopping because the pound is so monstrously overvalued, but still…
Pitifully ineffectual…
So while making my way aroudnn the Lourve, I came across this, the ‘Milon de Crotone’ by French sculptor Pierre Puget.
The story goes, Milon is a ex Olympian athlete, no longer in his prime, who tries to prove his strength by wrenching apart a tree trunk partially split by by woodcutters. The wedges fall out, trapping his hand, and he dies being devoured by wild animals. His medal from the games lies at his feet as a reminder of his past glories.
Yes that is a lion eating his arse.
Upon reading Francis’ post on supernaut.info regarding the Victorian Liberals proposed Arts Funding overhaul (et ici), I got to thinking - a rare occurance, but one which does occur, at around the same frequency as showering.
What should our arts funding policy be? Is it important - how important, and whats the best way to spend limited funds? (note I am discussing the wider issues, not individual Liberal and Labour policies)
Now I am an elitist arts snob, I will be the first to admit that, and in days gone by, my reaction would have been much the same as Francis’. However, after reading John Carey’s ‘What good art the arts?’ a provocative book, I’m not so sure. The arguements he puts forwards (nicely sumerised here and here) are quite confronting for someone who has always believed in the inherent ‘value’ in the arts.
He argues, convincingly and somewhat distressingly, that the hugely subsidised public art institutions - galleries, the opera, ballet, etc, which are funded under the arguement that art has a beneficial and civilising effect on society, is totally unfounded. As Carey asks
“How does this person’s love of art affect his, or her, attitude to human beings?”
He gives an example during the world war where art was put into bunkers - but people weren’t, and of course Herr Hitler, who fancied himself an artist above all, and J Paul Getty who amassed a monstrous amount of art, but was a saloon fascist in personal politic. He argues, rather convincingly that
The religion of art makes people worse, because it encourages contempt for those considered inartistic.
It becomes merely a club that one can belong to, by virtue of refined taste and aesthetic.
While some of his arguements are a bit over the top, it is thought provoking - he offers as consolation that while art consumption may do nothing for society, perhaps through the act of making art, there is benefit and value. What matters is the making of art, the process and bollocks to the end result. He cites cases of art empowering people in disadvantaged communities and prison schemes.
The last half of the book is his own personal arguement for the supremecy of literature but I’ll leave that for you read if you are so interested. I’m not sold.
So where does this leave me? I would love to see Australia (not neccessarily just Victoria) ‘return to the forefront of arts excellence’, but in wider terms, what does that mean, other than an arbitary, self congratulatory judgement? What on earth is ‘arts excellence’? And, cosmically speaking, what is the point?
Perhaps, that contrary to Frances’ point that regional eisteddoffods promote passive consumption - it is a step in a irection in promoting and providing means for people to actively engage in the making of art. Eisteddfodds are not for the audience - they are for the participants. How many people actually watch the bleeding things if not a doting relative, or that somewhat dodgy neighbour who keeps appearing at thos ballet receitals…. They are a big deal for kids, families and their community.
The alternative, a push for greater funding for capital city dominant art? Well, I’d perhaps enjoy that immensely,but then, I tend to enjoy money, the question is what it achieves in a wider context, and other than making pretentious gits like me tremendously happy? It does provide employment for the legion of Sydney critics to practice their tongue lashing and an excuse for the upper crust of the aestheticaly refined to exercise their ball gowns and drink champagne - but perhaps not so much otherwise. Despite the funding the festivals and companies attract, the pricing structures generally prohibit anyone, ‘different’ attending. Last I checked Chunky Move was going for $55 for a 45 minute show, Sydney Festivals Robert Wilson was going for nearly $200, Cloud Gate was $50 +. So all in all its potential effect is limited - to the performers themselves, and i’m not saying that its not valuable to provide oppurtunities for growth in our artists, casse it obviously is, but to the community - becuase only those wtih the means, and who are already interested are likely to attend.
After working in a regional dance company, I can quite confidently say that on our regional regional tours (I’m talking regional Tasmania) the audience was greater, more appreciative, our workshops were enthusiastically received and we really got the feeling that it actually made a difference in the community. In fact, people would come up and thank us and say just that. Which is a trifle embarrassing, as a dreadfully important, International Artist, I am not so used to, well actually talking to fans, just stamping my autograph while gracing them with a supercilious smile as I make my way to my chaffeur driven limosine to take me to my exclusive hotel for a rendevous with the Hilton sisters.
It wasn’t ground shaking work, and we aren’t the ABT, ABC or NDT, ADT, or any company with a TLA (Three Letter Acronym) for a name, and I doubt we live up to ‘the forefront of arts excellence’, but I would argue it was important to do, and worthwhile.
I’ve done work in the centres, it might even be considered ‘experimental’, pushing the boundaries of art etc, but hardly anyone saw it, the works tended to die in the arse, never to be seen again. Certainly I can probably name the people (Person) who came up and told me it changed their life, but then again, I was sleeping with them, and I’m not sure if they meant it in a good way.
This being said - the 1 day closed thing is a non-issue, every major gallery and museum in Europe is closed one day a week, and no one sees that as a shocking blight on the arts.
And I think we should make up our minds what we want for the arts - its sitting on the fence - demanding accontability, but also excellence in all fronts. I’m no economist, but that seems rather impossible to me. This will probably start off my next rant about the lack of research culture….
So thank you if you have followed me this far;
So whats the best to spend the precious few dollars we have for the arts?
Penny for your thoughts*
*pennies will not, nor ever be forthcoming
schonentag!
Wow.
I managed to find a dvd of ‘Ryan’, Chris Landreth’s Oscar Winning short animated documentary, and in a word, wow. The work of Chris’ is spectacular, bold, unique and just plain beautiful.
The story it tells of Canadian animator Ryan Larkin is even more astonishing, and the dvd contains the orignal animations he did some 30 years ago - ‘walking’ in particular is pure genius.
I watched it at 5 am after struggling with my own animation problems, and was just blown away by the vibrancy of them. For me ‘walking’ is the standout, deceptively simple, but conveyed such joy in the simple act of walking, the simple wonder of movement.
It was one of the few times I’ve seen the way I feel when I dance.
I’m going to stop drivelling on now.
