I have to regain trust in my body.
Its strange, ‘ve had plenty of injuries, but they’re external, they’re managable. I can strap it, ice it, limit the use of that limb, but with this, I can’t do anything, I can’t not use my right lung, I can’t protect it in any way but it can go at any time.

I’ve never had to think about my lungs, its a part of my body I pay very little attention to – it generally just works. I mean I have mild asthma, but never a grave concern. Now I am super aware of the insides of my chest, strange phantom pains, sensations. Nothing like a collapse, but disconcerting nonetheless.
I’m going to try put it out of my mind – there is nothing I can do about it, if it goes, it goes, I might as well continue much as I was before, and if I’m lucky, it’ll stay fully inflated.

Currently I’m frustrated by my extreme, Mr Burns-like feebleness.  A bottle of wine in one hand, 10 euro worth of chocolate in the other, and a 10 minute walk is enough to warrant consierable exertion now.

The wine and chocolate was totally worth it though.

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