I recently did a project with Adam Synott and was reminded of how much satisfaction and pleasure I used to get and is possible to get from creative pursuits.  Working with friends, people who have a solid understanding of process, and who trust each member in their skill was an all too rare joy.  It used to be like this, working on the things I wanted to work on, with people I wanted to, on projects I was invested in.  But somewhere along the way, I ended up pursuing bigger gigs, bigger contracts, commissions and compromises.
I think we came up with some fantastic stuff, certainly interesting things that will lead on to bigger and better things.  Its such a difference from commissioned works where there is money but so many restrictions, egos to satisfy, and where more time is spent discussing than making.

I’m currently dancing again, I’m not really enjoying much of it, due largely to the attitude that is so prevalent in the industry.  Because we are the ones who are up on stage, we care deeply about how we look, and so companies will exploit that by scheduling too little rehearsal time for what they want to achieve and then cram in extra hours, extra weekdays, cutting breaks, lunch knowing that we’ll take it in order not to look stupid.  But really, in every commission I’ve had, and from what I know of project management, whatever dream one has, one has to work within the limitations imposed by the situation. If you can only afford 2.5 weeks of rehearsals , its rather daft to try and create 2hrs of brand new material across 3 shows.  Then they play the guilt factor – that they themselves aren’t getting paid, that they’re working much longer hours. But they’re irrelevant arguments – that was their choice and good on them for that, but for me, its a job, and its got to be run that way.
However, on many occasions I’ve gladly put in extra, because I was invested, and I was respected enough that I was never told to do extra, it was my choice.

What is frustrating is that this attitude is never going to change, because most dancers are grateful for any chance to perform, and if one isn’t there certainly is a younger one who damn well will, and so I fear that its never going to be sorted.

Anyways, thats my whinge for the moment.