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Me : Any pain?
patient : (emphatically). No. No pain. Hurts


In medicine, things are not all roses and puppy dogs. Some things smell like evil incarnate

so here is my list of worst smells in medicine, please add yours in the comments!

1. Grapefruit sized fungating penis lesion (HPV, ? penile cancer in a refugee in a detention centre, not attended to for >6months)
2. Decompression of a bowel with ?colon cancer and 11 day history of constipation. Its a lotta poop
3. Trichomonas vaginal infection. Its frothy and green and all round nasty
4. Giant exploded sebaceous cysts. It pays not to pop them.
5. Open thoracostomy with mutliresistant psuedomonas. Sweet, fruity, rotten.
6. Malaena. Partially digested blood AND poop. mmmm

Unrelated image of Glen Helen Gorge at sunset

in psychiatry today

“have you seen a psych interview before? done a mental state exam?”
“urm, yeah”
“oh. take the day off then. If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all!”

“Oh I did psych for 5 years. It was fucking boring and I couldn’t do it anymore”

3rd year medicine