Doc he cried
Help me for I can’t help but slip and slide
My hands drip,
my feet slip

I leave stains on all I touch,
it smells too! It’s just too much,
It really is quite obscene
And the other kids are kinda mean.

Is there nothing that can be done?
Can’t this curse be undone?
This moisture is surely aberrant
I’ve tried soaps, washes and deodorant

Botox, glycopyrrolate and Iontophoresis,
But I can’t shake this diaphoresis
Hmm the doc thought and pondered
Googled, cogitated and wondered.

This is a case most severe,
I’ve consulted far and near.
The only solution to ease your plight
is to take ‘em off! Alright?

With Hands and feet no more
Stumps where they were before,
no more will you slip or stain
though grasping might be a pain…

holding, pointing and standing too
but hey! No more sweating for you!
The boy didn’t think much of this remedy,
having gotten used to his extremities.

But the boy was tired and weary
of his sweaty curse. Will it hurt? His only query.
It shouldn’t, well, urr maybe, only slight
Cried the doctor as he swung with all his might

Hands went left, feet went right!
Out of mind, out of sight.
The boy landed with a bump
and sat there, admiring his stumps

No more puddle where he stood
no fetid odour – this was good!
But, though sweaty and smelly no more,
he had no way of getting off the floor…

Moisture Boy