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After ordering a mushroom soup to go

excuse me, could I have a spoon please?

oh i’m so sorry, we’re all out of spoons. I have given you 2 knives though….

brits are weird.

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At a met call
Ok oxygen turn it up full via hudson. What’s her sats. Can we get an ECG… 
Oh hey. Are you plastics? 
Urr yeah.. Have we got a line in? 
Mrs blah wants to discharge with some endone. 
Um not a good time.. Blood pressure? 
Oh yeah. Sure. 
Have we got an old ecg, take usual blood and a gas. 
Is just that she wants to go and you haven’t written her up…

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