I didn’t like what i had become, I was grumpy, stressed, my health was shot. I was inpatient. Snappy. My head which had used to be full of stories, and images was now concerned only with getting enough sleep to make it through the next on call cycle.

But unlike my friend Halaina over at the D word, change came quick, I guess the signs were there but I was fixated on the idea of becoming a plastic surgeon and ignored it until I was forced to confront them
The consultants had not made time to see me to discuss my future, but assured me that they would have me in my current job and not to worry.
I didn’t (rookie mistake. Don’t trust them as far as you can throw them.) and a few weeks later got a generic health department telling me I was unsuccessful in my application for my current job.
This was a bit of a kick in the balls, as I had no negative feedback, and no heads up this was on the cards.
But this was the big kick I needed. Looking back over this blog, I was always torn between my need to do my art and my love of medicine. The last few years was an experiment in subsuming my art for medicine and I didn’t like it. I wasn’t me. I missed being creative, I missed collaborating, I missed moving and dancing.
I had forgotten these things and this kick was what I needed to reassess.
I took the time to step back and get in touch with what I wanted out of life, I looked forward to what I could expect if I wanted to pursue plastics and I found no joy in that.
I took wise counsel from trusted friends and decided to step back in 2015. reconnect with my art practice and take a different path.
So in 2015, I’m dancing again, teaching, doing a Masters in Sports Medicine, a Dip in child health, making films, riding my bike badly. Its going to be good.

Follow your bliss’ (Joseph Conrad)

a lecturer once told me this and it stuck in the back of my mind until recently and it seems apt.

I did manage to make a small film at the end of last year which re-enforced how much I missed being creative.

Us Right Now (120mb. NSFW)


Lake Wanaka 2013