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I’m not good at lectures. Yay for tablet  laptops!

intro to human homeostasis …


intro to something or other…


Stump Boy


First she screamed,
then she pooped, we-ed and farted
(It had been 9 hours since labour started)
She strained and pushed,
And pooped some more,
Then out he shot, past the doc
And onto the floor


They quickly scooped him up
Wiped off the slime,
And noticed, for the very first time
A nice round head, chubby little body,
Hideously loveable as babies can be
Adorable eyes and button nose
But no arms or legs could be seen.
Just some little bumps
Where they ought to have been.
They looked under the bed, the sheets and the bin
But the legs and arms they couldn’t find,
They even checked mom
to see if they’d been left behind


“Whats wrong?”

The doctor stammered, the doctor quivered
And shakily replied
I’m terribly sorry my dear lady,
But you’ve just given birth
To a thalidomide baby.
I may have been hasty
I could have been wrong,
I should have give you panadol all along
But the perks were great, the drug fantastic
Who would have known that it was teratogenic?


A decision was quietly reached
A prayer, a swift journey up to heaven
They wrapped poor stump boy up
Kissed him once
And tossed him into the dump.



Sorry its a bit late…

Hirsute Girl

Fair of skin, beautiful green eyes
With delicate features, quiet and wise
Lustrous hair, dark as night
Out of a fairy tale, our own snow white.
Ruby red lips, eager to smile
Pleasant demeanour, gentle and mild.

But this is a tale of woe and melancholy
And as such, cannot end happily

She woke up one morning to a horrific sight
For in the mirror, a beard had grown, and sideburns overnight!
She gagged and puked,
Retched and screamed
For now she could see
She was hairy as can be
from the crown of her head; to the soles of her feet.

Her mother fainted, her father swore,
Their daughter sweet and cute no more
The doctor thought, and thought and thunk
‘I’m sorry, I’m totally sunk
I hate to ask and insinuate
But is perhaps the dad some hairy primate?
Mabye an ape, a monkey or gibbon?
Macaque, chimp or simian?
This time father fainted and mother swore
I was weak, lonely and my actions I deplore
It was one day at the zoo, I meant only to admire
But I’m sorry my dear, an ape was your sire

Before father recovered, a plan was hatched,
And their hairy daughter quickly dispatched
With a hug and quick adieu
Her mum sent her packing
To join daddy at the zoo.


ps. I am not mad

She had a pretty face, a head full of hair,
Soft gentle golden curls such that
Strangers would stop and stare.
Her parents proud as proud can be,
showing her off for all the world to see.

However one fateful day,
The girl developped trichotillomania,
And started to pull her hair out
much to her parents dismay.

In strands, squiggles and clumps,
In bunches, scrunches and lumps
Out it came, her beautiful hair
leaving twisted knots and patches bare.

Pretty no more,
strangers still stopped to stare
they whispered amongst themselves,
Her mortified parents in despair.

They decided to end the shame,
the innuendo, the blame!
So under cover of dark,
they shaved her bald, clothed her warm
and abandoned her, in the park.


There was once a boy born with a cute button nose

Ten chubby fingers and toes

But there was something horribly wrong,

Something not quite right


For you see, the boy couldn’t seem to blink,

Squint or wink.

Try as he might,

struggle and fight

He couldn’t close his eyes,

Not even one little bit.



He stared and stared

And stared some more

He stared at the sky

He stared at the floor



His parents were in a state

They couldn’t stand seeing him, staring all day

So one night as he slept,

with his eyes wide open

They crept into his room,

And stood for a moment,

Our poor staring boy they sighed,

And held each other tight.


Then stuck pins in his eyes,

And turned out the light