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This is not my post as such, but rather a amusing collection of haiku from my esteemed colleagues, inspired and by PTR. I may have contributed a haiku or two.
I thought it a shame if a home not found for it.

If you can’t say it
In seventeen syllables
It’s not worth saying

Some might call that
Incredibly elitist
If not ridiculous

I still don’t know why
Everything is in haiku
But I’m entertained

Son is cranky cos
Her PhD thesis was
Much much much longer

i sure am tempted
to ruin this fancy thread
but haiku is fun!!!

I really struggle
To communicate like this
And I have to stop myself from cramming too much into the last line

Ha ha ha ha ha
Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho
Hee hee hee hee hoo

Peter, it’s cheating
To use one syllable words
For the whole damn thing

If writing haikus,
makes you fail all your exams,
don’t complain to me.

Can’t promise I won’t
Recite poetry out loud
During the exam

MCQ is not
ideal to display prowess
at haiku po-ums

Good point, Jason … but …
We should use this skill somewhere.
How about OSCE?

I concur for i
think breaking bad news in a
haiku form is best

orchid, singapore botanic gardens

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An irishman is stopped by paramiltary as he’s about to enter Northern Ireland
The military draws a circle on the ground and tells him ” Right if you can stay in that circle, we won’t kill you”
They leave him and proceed to torch his car.
Turning they see him pissing himself laughing “What’s so fucking funny?”
Giggling he replies ” I was jumping in and out of the circle the whole time”

Some of our palliative patients are like that. As long as they think they’re in control and sticking it to the man as it were, they’re happy. Even when everything is going wrong.

Good on ’em

12am, Hospital in the middle of buttfuck nowhere

Code 2 – Chest Pain, shortness of breath

Sotto voce
‘Hey doc, do you think you can get me some of dem cock stand pills?’

needless to say there was no chest pain, and only a mild exacerbation of asthma.

More picatures!

Showing how it's done

Well, because my colleagues are all into it here, here and here I shall do the same. That and its just about the only interesting thing thats happened for a while, other than being pantsed in the FOSCE’s and adding a notch or 2 to my belt.

1/ Elective in Swaziland doing surgical sort of things! Lions and zebras and things!
2/ Elective somewhere. eek. hopefully africa doing something trauma surgerery.
3/ holiday! 6 glorious weeks trundling through morocco & southern europe i think.
4/ ED. essential skillz
5/ General surgery. Funsies!
6/ General medicine. because i should probably know something about medicine
7/ paediatrics. ’cause kids are cuuute. even if they are sick and snotty.
8/ Rural surgery in the tuna capital of australia. Tasty and fun!

so lots of things to look forward to.and at least i’ll know if surgery is for me. i probably should have put in something else. oh well

Full speed ahead!

In medicine, things are not all roses and puppy dogs. Some things smell like evil incarnate

so here is my list of worst smells in medicine, please add yours in the comments!

1. Grapefruit sized fungating penis lesion (HPV, ? penile cancer in a refugee in a detention centre, not attended to for >6months)
2. Decompression of a bowel with ?colon cancer and 11 day history of constipation. Its a lotta poop
3. Trichomonas vaginal infection. Its frothy and green and all round nasty
4. Giant exploded sebaceous cysts. It pays not to pop them.
5. Open thoracostomy with mutliresistant psuedomonas. Sweet, fruity, rotten.
6. Malaena. Partially digested blood AND poop. mmmm

Unrelated image of Glen Helen Gorge at sunset

Med Reg explaining an AV fistula for a renal patient

“So you have veins which are tubes which carry blood from your heart all the way to your fingers and they gradually get smaller like branches on a tree. Then you have arteries which are small tubes that carry blood back to your… oh dear”

‘Ok, you need to be not here’

And that was the first and last I saw of my reg for that rotation.

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